I don’t feel in touch with much these days. I don’t know what’s wrong with me…I am just so disinterested in life, in my art, in everything! I just know that I can’t keep on sleeping almost all day. Seriously, I can sleep about 20 hours a day and still be tired.
Every day that passes that I don’t post, it gets easier and easier to keep not posting. Such a vicious cycle…a vicious, endless, ugly cycle..
Time to buck up, get my head off the pillow and rejoin life. As my sister once told me, fake it ‘til you make it. So that’s what I’m doing…trying to fake it until I really do feel happy again.
Not doing a real good job at faking it right now, though.
I really think it’s some sort of midlife crisis or something. I have this feeling that I need to find myself. I know, sounds corny but I really do feel it, deep down in my gut. I’m working on finding my true voice in my art…cause I’m just not sure. Nothing I have created in a long while feels right, just feels so forced and so contrived…not true and authentic…not ME.
I think I hate Facebook…but it’s like a train wreck, I just can’t help myself from staring.
Am I the only one that wonders why we care what some acquaintance from high school, twenty-five years ago, is doing at their 11 y/o kid’s soccer game? What is the magnetic pull that keeps us going back there? For that matter, what is it that makes us “friend” these people? I mean, they and us, both, didn’t give a crap about staying in touch so what changed just because of Facebook?
I dunno, just some of my thoughts right now.
Okay, I’ve made it back again. I just gotta hang on. do the writing, and make this whole blogging thing a pleasure again.
Cause it is, you know. A pleasure, I mean. It’s just that sometimes we get so caught up in “life” that we forget what it is to LIVE, we forget what it is that gives our lives pleasure. We can’t keep doing that. What is life without these little pleasures?
I know it certainly isn’t truly LIVING.
Peace & Love,