Tuesday, June 17, 2014

What it’s like...

cause-of-depression

Every single day for the past few months, I have sat down at my laptop and for just a moment I feel like I might actually have something to say...but each day the same thing happens. Nothing. Not one single word comes to mind. I just go blank. Totally and utterly devoid of any coherent thoughts; nothing to share.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to be here, creating and sharing and helping everyone along on their Art Journaling and general creative journey. Unfortunately, I am really having a hard time just helping myself.

Each day that passes that I don’t blog/share, I feel like more and more of a failure here...more of a huge let-down to everyone here and in my real day-to-day life.

Just writing this is taking more effort than I think any of you can really imagine.

Please know that I’m trying...I’m working on myself and I’m working on finding some semblance of normalcy so that I can come back and be myself again, with lots of creating and journaling and actually having fun again.

I know that I’m getting there, getting closer to the old me that loves life, and I know that because I am here today, writing this, and that gives me hope.

I make no promises beyond telling you that I’m trying very, very hard....and that I hope to see you soon.

With much love,
Barb

19 comments:

  1. As someone who also deals with depression, I GET IT. You are doing well, my friend. Stephen Fry's documentary on bipolar disease was hugely beneficial to me. I don't get the highs like they do, just the lows, yet it was wonderful to hear other people's stories of what they feel. I am not alone, although it sure feels like it most days. YOU are not alone. <3 to you. I'll wait while you process things. You're worth the wait.

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  3. Hi Barb. I don't really know you, but I just wanted to encourage you. I always thought I knew what depression was, until someone very close to me was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Depression is not just being sad - it's so much more than that. And there is nothing anyone else can do to make you come out of it, as much as we want to. Hang in there, and don't stress about the blog. Many people can relate to what you're going through, so you're not alone. Take care of yourself - you're in my prayers. ~Lori

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  4. As someone who has a genetic predisposition to it, just wanted to say that you should know you're not alone. There are lots of us out there who suffer the same way. Don't be too hard on yourself about not wanting to blog. When you're ready, you will. I have found my creative voice comes back when I'm exercising, especially walking. Give it a try. But most of all, know you're not alone!

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  5. I know how you feel also. I will still be here when you post something. Not going anywhere. I love your posts!

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  6. I can wait as long as it takes. I'm not going anywhere, and I have forever to get there. :) You really aren't alone, and there really are many people who care.

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  7. I t's difficult for me to find words to help you (I am French), but in France you have somebody
    who like your blog...Courage!

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  8. It is so good to hear from you and have this update, I haven't followed your blog for very long, but missed your wonderful posts and often wondered if you were okay. This is hard stuff ... what a brave thing to share with your community and I truly hope that it will be a positive source of encouragement and support to you on your journey ... thinking of you ... you can do this!

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  9. I came across this quote today and thought you might find some comfort in it, as well: "ALL YOU CAN DO IS ALL YOU CAN DO, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS ENOUGH." You are not alone in what you are feeling, and by sharing your feelings you offer other people hope and courage. Art journaling is the best therapy I have found for working through feelings—and life. May your creative muse bring you strength and comfort. You are a blessing to all of us who follow your blog!

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  10. i don't know anything about depression nor can i give advice but i do know that it always makes me feel better when i take a couple minutes for art. i know you enjoy it too just from you blog pages.

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  11. You are in my thoughts and I, too will be here when you are ready.

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  12. Hang in there Barb. I hope the sun shines for you again very soon :-)

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  13. I too struggle with the cloud of depression. I've missed your AJ Wednesdays and hope that you feel up to coming back to it someday. ((hugs))

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  14. Hugs sent from one who does 'get it'.

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  15. I just found your blog. I get it. I've had depression all of my life. Even maxed out on SSRIs it still looms in the background. You are in no way alone in this. Gentle cyber hugs.

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  16. Thinking of you and sending hugs from Massachusetts. Miss you.

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  17. Thank you for your Art sharing! It is really helpful.

    artisoo

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  18. This made me cry. Sometimes it feels as if noone could know how much it hurts to just be. Thank you for this post, it almost makes me want to get up out of bed and journal, but not quite. Baby steps....

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Thank you so much for taking the time to drop by. I am open to any comments, questions, suggestions, critiques, etc, so lay it on me...
Peace & Love,
~Barb~

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