I don’t know how many of you, my faithful readers, deal with depression but I suspect that the number is somewhat high…those with a creative/artistic side tend to also have issues with depression. I don’t know why those two aspects of our lives or personalities seem to go hand in hand but I’ve had more than one psychiatrist tell me this very thing. *shrug*
My point in asking is that I have been dealing with a huge funk. Not just a little “feeling down” but an all out, don’t wanna get out of bed, can’t find any point to my days, hurting all over and just feeling like I am letting everyone around me down, including myself. It’s all but impossible to find your creative mojo when you’re in the midst of feeling like every bit of life has been drained from you and you’re just hanging on by a thread.
That is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. I try to hold my chin up and “fake it ‘til I make it” but even that’s not working this go ‘round. I enjoyed my little trip with the hubby for my birthday but the enjoyment was only momentary…once we were back home, real life came crashing down on me and the funk hit harder than ever.
I don’t like coming here and being a downer but this is life, MY life, and I feel certain there are some of you out there that share this awful malady with me so you can understand where I’m coming from, right?
I’m doing all I can to snap myself out of it…I take my meds (oh gawd, do I ever take meds), eat right, rest good but those things aren’t doing what they usually do to help me.
I just know I’ve got to find some peace…
So I decided to try another path…Today I got up at 5:30am (like most every other day) but I had decided that barring some crazy electrical storm, I was mowing our very large yard (about 1 1/2 acres)…and by gosh, I did it! Not only did I mow but I trimmed about 1/3 of the hedges (and I WILL finish the rest of them tomorrow morning), gathered all the fallen limbs into a pile to be burned later this week, sprayed weed killer along the fence line, cut a path through the bamboo, washed out the garbage cans and even got the outside of the fence next to the highway mown, too. About 5-6 hours of yard work done today and I feel so very accomplished!
I don’t know if it has doing anything for my depression, I’ll have to wait and see, but I feel tired…that good kind of tired that tells you that you’ve been busy and you’ve worked your muscles out more than they’re used to being worked. I think I needed to push myself into having this kind of day today…
Now if I can just push myself into working in my art journal for a while this evening, that would be killer.
I hope your Wednesday has been a good one.
Peace & Love,