Saturday, May 23, 2009

Life Changes

We all go through changes in our lives from day to day…some big, some small. 

For me, it seems as though life has been a true rollercoaster in the past 3 months.  If it weren’t for my art and the love of my family, I really don’t know how I could have gotten through it all.

I decided to return to work in spite of my panic/anxiety disorder and debilitating depression, I now drive all the time (a HUGE fear of mine) for work, am dealing with ongoing major dental work, and on and on…

Then, a few weeks ago, my youngest daughter who has been my constant companion since her birth and, dare I say, my very soul, decided to move out and really begin a life with her husband.  Out of our home, no longer living in the basement of Mom and Richie’s house but to an apartment of their own…2 hours away in Huntsville.

*sigh*

This has been really tough for me.

Her WingsI’m still journaling and doing art, as much as time will allow, but I can’t help but feel a bit disoriented by all of the change.

It’s just all a lot to deal with and absorb for me right now but I think this journal page pretty well sums up how losing my “baby” has affected me.

I’m still here…still around…just taking some time to adjust to all that life is throwing at me right now.

I hope this finds you all doing well.  You are all in my thoughts, I promise…I’m even reading your blogs…I just can’t find any words at the moment.  Given time, I’ll be back to my old self.

Bear with me.

Peace & Love,
Barb

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Rocky Waters

It’s been a rough few days around the old homestead.

I’ve had dental problems that have been needing some major attention and because of my panic/anxiety disorder I put it off and put it off until, yep-you guessed it, a massive toothache hit me. Ugh!

So Monday afternoon was spent in the dentists chair (luckily my sister-in-law if his hygienist so that was a comfort) and ended up getting another molar pulled.  It was after looking at my x-rays and seeing the advancement of my periodontal disease and amount of bone loss in my mandible that he (Dr. Hall) and I made the decision that I will have to lose a number of my molars and will be getting implants (if my jaw bone can handle it) or, in the alternative, partial plates. 

I say partial plates because I don’t like the idea of saying partial dentures

OMG, dentures!?!?!?  I’m only 43…how in the world did I get to the point of TRI-focal glasses and blasted DENTURES? 

*rolls eyes*

Yes, kiddies…contrary to what we though when we were 17, we really do get older. 

I swear that last month I was still in my 20’s!  And look at me today, eyesight failing, losing my teeth and getting falsies (and not the chesticle kind either) and then I look at the calendar and *BAM*, it hits me...my oldest daughter turned 22 years old today.

HUH?!?!  How’d that happen?  I mean, she was just a baby not so long ago and now she’s really a grown up at 22!  OMG, I am getting sooooo old.

YIKES!

Anyway, there was a point to all of this (besides just my old woman moaning and whining LOL)…I was goofy on pain pills Monday evening (and looked like I had been hit in the jaw, too) and all day Tuesday.  Today I don’t feel so hot since I couldn’t take any pain meds because I had to drive to Tuscaloosa (80+ miles each way) for work.  *sigh* Now I’m home after a 10 hour day, a pain pill in my tummy (hoping it goes to work quickly) and I’m beyond exhausted.

I’m just beat.  Absolutely beat!

I’m sitting here staring at a pile of envelopes with goodies in them ready to mail that I still don’t have out to you guys.  The Post Office closed at noon on Saturday and I haven’t had the chance, with all the dental stuff, to get to the Post Office to mail things.

I feel like such a lazy loser but I do hope you will all understand and bear with me.  I have your goodies packaged, addressed and ready to go but I have to find the time (and energy) to spend some time at the PO to get them to y’all.  Just know that you have things coming…in time.  And Seth, you were the hardest to pick for so I hope you don’t think I’m a dork for your package. LOL

I think I will journal for a while before dinner (and who knows what that will be?)…I’ve had a pain pill so I might be surprised tomorrow at what the product of my journaling is tonight. HA!~

Happy Humpday, y’all.

Peace & Love,
Barb

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