Thursday, December 17, 2009

Overwhelmed & Confused

I had committed myself to doing December Views every single day for the month of December, but as so often happens, life has raised a ruckus and left me quivering in it’s wake.

I didn’t share tons of personal things on here for the longest time but after my hiatus and “rebirth” here, I made a vow to just be myself here, in my space….to let it all hang out, good and bad.

Like millions of other Americans, we’ve lost our home.

Our house was foreclosed on and officially sold at auction on the courthouse steps a few days ago. No one bid on it (more is owed than it’s worth in today’s housing market) so it was officially bought by Fannie Mae. Now we are on notice that we have VERY limited time before we have to vacate the property. We are hoping to make it through the holidays before we’re forced to move but, truth of it is, there are no houses for rent in our town. It’s a small town and rentals are always at a premium but with 10+ foreclosures per month around here, you can imagine just how non-existent rental houses really are now.

We have no real clue what we’re going to do. We have the option to transfer with our company to Florida (Jacksonville area) which would give us a fresh start but how do you rent an apartment when you’ve just gone through a foreclosure?

Just so many things to think about right now.

On top of all that, the hubby hurt his back at work yesterday and can barely move today…my oldest daughter and grandboy arrived this evening for Christmas (yes, they’ve come VERY early), my youngest daughter is unbelievably pissed at me right now (very long story there) and I just feel unbelievably overwhelmed with it all. Justifiably so, I think.

The one bright light in all of it is this:  IMG_0406This precious boy, my little Noah, that loves me like nobody’s business and is so glad to be at his Nana’s house is the bright spot among all the darkness that seems to be enveloping me right now. Man, I love this kid.

So, that’s a little bit of a rundown on where I’ve been for a few days. I’m trying to get it all together but it make take a while…in fact, I’m sure it will but I’m hangin’ in there. Thankfully I have my art journal to help keep me sane.

Peace & Love,


  1. Wow. How brave of you to share. I am big fan of your art (as you know from Flikr) and just found your blog. Keep your head up and your journal open!
    You're in my thoughts and prayers.
    (PS... I cannot believe you are old enough to have a grandbaby!! From you photo I thought you were my age (I'm 31, hehe).

  2. Oh Barb! Oh Barb...I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. Do you have a place to stay should they kick you out soon? Are you okay at the moment? Foreclosure should have nothing to do with you renting a place so you should take the transfer and start anew.
    I'll be holding you in my thoughts and wishing you well. Please keep us posted.

  3. I've tears in my eyes my and prayers in my heart. I can't imagine what this must be like to go through but I will keep you in my daily prayers and hold you up for blessings beyond belief.. and also pray that you have peace that passes understanding. You've touched my heart deeply by sharing your story and in being brave and being who you are. God Bless you and your family!

  4. OH Barb. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'd give you a big hug if I were there. I'll keep you in my thoughts. You are very brave to share this with us and as you know keep writing in your journal it will help clarify your thoughts and emotions. (((hug)))

  5. Oh Barb, I am so sorry about the house. If it helps in the least, Jacksonville is a beautiful area and there are a ton of rentals here in Florida. Yeah, they come and go, but they are usually there.

    And what happened with your youngest? I know how close you are so I am shocked to hear this.

    I am here if you need.

  6. Barb, you don't know me, I just found your link at my friend Kathryn the Collage Diva's site. It doesn't matter though that we've never corresponded before...your story touches me so deeply. I am so sorry that you are all going through this right now...great timing with the holidays, huh? Really, anytime would be a bad time to lose your home. I am thinking about Kathryn's latest post on doors...and I wrote one a few months back on doors and opportunities as well.

    this is big stuff for you and your family...Thank God for your little boy, right now.

  7. I, too, am sorry for your current woes. But the tiny bright spot is that you are not alone and with so MANY others in the same boat, it will change the whole credit industry. My family is just 1/2 an inch away from being in your shoes. I send good vibes your way....

  8. Barb,
    I haven't read in awhile (that's what happens when I keep 60 or 70 blogs in my google reader!), but I am so terribly sorry to read of this. It was brave of you to share with everyone, and I'm hoping that all the kind and positive thoughts from others are able to lift you up somehow. You just have to believe that everything will work out somehow, eventually. I hope you'll try as best as possible to have a happy holiday.

  9. So sorry to hear about this Barb. I hope you are able to make something from it - maybe that transfer would be good for all of you. I always view major changes like this as the Universe's way of telling you you've been staying in one place too long. I hope they at least let you enjoy the holidays in peace before you have to deal with planning your next move.

  10. Oh No!! I am sooo sorry. I wish you the best and am sending you very positive thoughts. WOW!! Keep your head up and tell your hubby to be careful with his back. I know, I have problems with mine on a daily basis and it makes me totally out of it most of the time. Sharon

  11. Well Barb, I will be thinking good thoughts for you and you husband this holiday season. I pray for doors to open for new directions. it's hard so share and be honest and open in a situation as this but it's so healing to let it out and not keep it in.

  12. I have no words, only hugs.


  13. Barb, I wish bad things didn't happen to good and kind people! I'm hoping that a larger town brings options & opportunities. Let art be your constant. ~ Tammy

  14. Why haven't you called me to talk??? Oh honey, I didn't realize it had gotten to this point! I guess I've had my head stuck up my own butt that I just didn't see what was going on. I'm so sorry. And poor Richie and his back.
    Call me and let's know I'm here when you need me!!
    love you!!

  15. Barb,

    hugs and hugs and hugs and more hugs.


  16. I am sorry to hear of your tough times. But, it seems those awful things are what make us stronger.

    I hope you and your family are doing well.


  17. Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. About ten years ago my mother's house was foreclosed upon. I remember how utterly devastated she was. I do hope you are able to take this situation and create a fresh new start. I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

  18. I was looking for a flat on rent, I will be thinking good
    thoughts for you and you husband this holiday season. I
    pray for doors to open for new directions.
    houses for rent


Thank you so much for taking the time to drop by. I am open to any comments, questions, suggestions, critiques, etc, so lay it on me...
Peace & Love,

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