Friday, March 6, 2009

Not a Good Week

I really thought I was getting better lately. 

I’ve mentioned my health problems here before but not a ton of detail.  I have lots of stuff “wrong” with me…Panic/Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Diabetes, CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Fibromyalgia, and just recently I learned that my liver is beginning to fail.

To only be 43 years old, that’s a ton of crap to have wrong with you. I feel like an 85 y/o when I have to down a handful of pills a few times a day and never feeling quite right.  Ugh.

This is not the place that I usually talk about these things but sometimes real life is a part of our art life…one affects the other in every way.  It certainly works that way for me…art is my escape and my outlet, my illnesses rear their heads into my art.  It’s a give and take.

VLG_WomenCallinSick_IlloAnyway, my reason for talking about all of that is just to say that I’ve had a bit of a relapse or maybe a little temporary downturn in my health.  It’s pretty well kept me in bed most of the week, feeling sick as a dog, hurting all over, running back and forth to the bathroom (ugh!), and just feeling like a big ol’ fat loser.

I haven’t even had the energy to keep up with all my blog favorites the way I like to do. I hate that! I keep feeling like I’m missing out on things that you all are doing and saying.

Hell, I feel like I’m missing out on LIFE!

But I am willing myself to feel better. I have to feel better.

5th Birthday My grandson Noah turned 5 years old today and, come hell or high water, I will be at his Chuck-e-Cheese birthday party in Arkansas on Saturday. No way I’m missing that party…he’s counting on his Nana being there.  I’m counting on it, too.

So, that’s where I’ve been the past few days.  In bed.  Just me and my journal…occasionally some music or a little TV but always me and my art journal…oh, and the hubby.  We do let him snuggle in with us, too.

I hope you’re all doing well.  I will catch up with each of you, eventually.  Just give me a little time.

Peace & Love,

25 comments:

  1. I'm wishing you a better day today and the best day ever for Noah's party tomorrow. Be kind to yourself Barb
    E
    xxx

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  2. 5??omg..I can't believe that baby is gonna be 5!!
    I'm so glad you are going..Richie's going with you isn't he? Or Shel?

    I wish you were feeling better. Did you get the card I sent? I never know if things I send you get there or not...I think the post office eats half of it!

    Have a great weekend! Love you,miss you much!
    xoxo

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  3. hey barb, sorry to hear yr feeling so bad. Will send good thoughts yr way - i can sympathise, have had Chronic fatigue syndrome for 5 yrs. Isn't the body a liability eh? Hope you enjoy yr grandson's birthday!!

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  4. Willing better health days my dear.
    ~v~laura

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  5. *HUGS* with capital letters.

    We believe in you Barb :)

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. I hope they are able to make things better for you. 43 is too young for that.

    Get lost of rest and don't worry about bloggers and ongoings in everyone else's life. We'll be here when you get back - whining and groaning like usual. Chin up and have fun at Chucky's!

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  7. Barb, I HATE to hear that you're feeling so bad! You are way too young to feel so old! I hope that you feel great at Noah's birthday party (although Chuck-E-Cheese is kind of a nightmare!) and I hope you're up and feeling better soon!

    Renee :)

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  8. You will feel better soon...you'll see!

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  9. Today was my first view of your blog and I am very inspired by your journaling, everything is so cheerful and energetic, I never would have thought you weren't feeling well, it certainly doesn't show in your creativity. I'll be back, have a fun time at the party! ~Jacque

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  10. Hope you are able to go and enjoy the grandson's b-day. That's too much to have wrong with you too so I think some of it should disappear! Have you tried alternative therapies before? Probably but just asking. :)

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  11. I hope your feeling better for the party. So much wrong..no wonder your feeling bad!!
    Enjoy the party and I am sure that your presence will be much appreciated. There is nothing quite like a Nanna!!!

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  12. Oh Barb,
    I hope you feel better. I pretty much know how you're feelng with the CFS. Just remember- One day at a time,sister.

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  13. Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. Feel better soon!! And I LOVE your new page design!! Very pretty and spring-y. Vibrant. Hope some of that color, light and energy soaks into you right away so that you can enjoy grandson's birthday party!

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  14. Good idea to keep the journal with you in bed!!! Just take it day by day, step by step. Best wishes.

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  15. Hi, Barb! I see you successfully signed up for my newsletter! I will send you the one you missed as soon as I can figure it out. Shouldn't take me too long.

    Sorry you're feeling under the weather. It is so hard to have chronic conditions. And it is sooooo exhausting. It is really surprising how exhausting it can be.

    Hang in there! We're rooting for you! Hope you feel better soon and that you enjoy your visit!:-)

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  16. if for no other reason
    the babies are the one!

    hannah (4) keeps me in the focus to keep trying to be all i can
    so i can BE here to help her...
    {i have all but the liver thing as you}
    they need our wisdom
    we need their energy!!
    too bad we can't tap into that
    but
    just the same
    they need us honey ..
    so hang in there and try to overcome..
    even on the hardest day if we try just a little bit...it is the best we can do and know that you are doing all you can that day

    {HUGS}

    mar

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  17. I'm having one of those weeks myself Barb. Hope you are feeling better soon and I know going to your grandson's birthday party is better than any other medicine you could take!

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  18. Oh Barb,
    I hope you are feeling so much better and that you had a great time at the party!!

    I hope to cheer you up....I left you
    something over at my blog....congrats!

    Have a great weekend,
    Kat

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  19. Wishing you well Barb and sending out the hope that things improve soon!! We all will be thinking of you!

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  20. so sorry to hear you're not feeling well. and then i go and ask you a favor! but could you send me the link to the post about making stencils from freezer paper again, please, ma'am?

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  21. Hello again, Barb! Hope you are doing better! :-)

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  22. Hey! I am so sorry that you don't feel well, but seeing Chuck-E-Cheese...and your grandson will make you feel a bit better!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers girl! Thank you for always leaving kind and supporting post on my blog!! Are you close by?? (you have probably told me before, but I have memory problems..so tell me again!!)

    Hugs!!! me.

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  23. HI Barb,
    Hang in there girl! Have a wondeful time with your grandson.
    Your workshop plans sound great and things are all falling into line. Try not to let the physical stuff be an obstacle for you!
    Your classes sound fabulous!
    Hugs,
    Jen

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  24. Oh poor old you, how dreadful and fed up you must feel. I hate feeling ill even for a day, let alone a week. I hope you have a wonderful time at the birthday party and begin to feel much better.
    Love
    Gina

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  25. Hi Barb~ I just recently discovered your lovely blog and had to comment. I can so relate to how you are feeling. Like you I have fibro, CFS, depression, anxiety/panic disorder and often feel like I'm missing out on life. I hear your frustration. My creativity has saved my life, it is definitely craft therapy! I hope your symptoms will recede soon so that you can get back to doing the things you enjoy. Take care of yourself and know another FMS/CFS sufferer is pulling for you.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to drop by. I am open to any comments, questions, suggestions, critiques, etc, so lay it on me...
Peace & Love,
~Barb~

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